I’m sure some of you will get sick of my posts about the upcoming wedding and what everyone is doing between now and August. But indulge me, as a mom. As I’ve said many times before, Cyris and Regan are just about the ideal couple.
They love each other, and that’s apparent in the way they interact. They help each other automatically; they are fiercely protective of each other and of their relationship; and they have common goals and ideals. For two people who are only 22 years old, they are mature and just make sense together.
A couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out at their house in between morning slack and evening performance of the Western rodeo. It was comfortable being there. Regan was in the living room, trying to get warmed up from our chilly morning. Cy was in the kitchen. There was only enough coffee for one person, so Cy warmed it up in his cup. He asked if Regan wanted some, and then started a new pot of coffee for her. (He wasn’t ignoring me; I don’t drink coffee.) It’s the simple gestures like those that make me confident about their future together.
They don’t argue a lot, at least not in front of me. They don’t keep a tally of what they do for each other and expect a reciprocal effort. They just take care of one another. They don’t complain about each other or talk about the other one in negative ways. And when they disagree, they have their spat, then they cool off and come back together, usually with a soft statement or question that lets them move past the argument.
For several years, their friends have called them ‘Ken and Barbie’. For a long time, I thought it was just because they are both very attractive people. But the more I’ve watched them together, I think it’s more than that. They fit. They are ‘the couple’ that other people want to be like. I will admit, I’m in that category.
I didn’t marry the right person for me. I tried to make it work, but there were just too many gaps in too many areas of life for my marriage to succeed. Someday, maybe I’ll be fortunate enough to find what the two of them have. Maybe ‘my person’ is out there somewhere, and someday we’ll find each other. For now, I’m content watching my boys get their lives started.
I’m so happy for my son that he found his person. They each have other friends. And they each do things independent of one another. But they are best when they’re together. It isn’t that they cling to each other or have to be constantly touching. But when they are together, they both brighten up and that makes everyone around them happier. They are just that type of couple.
Last weekend, they took engagement photos outside of Pony, on a ranch where Regan’s brother works. The trees were turning color, so the leaves were golden yellow and orange. The mountains provided a back drop. And they included some of their horses. I just went through all the proofs and I found myself smiling.
There is a great mix of serious and playful. Color and black and white. And the photos show the range of their relationship. In some, they are kissing. In others, they are holding hands and walking. They are even dancing in a few. Nothing looks forced or staged. And the photographer has posted that the session was fun and playful. And I think that describes these two. Together, they are themselves, and that came through in their pictures. They don’t try to be anything different from what they are. Too often, couples don’t feel safe enough to let each other see under the surface. Cy and Regan share that safety. It was tangible in those photos.
Nothing was fussy or overly fancy. They wore simple clothes. And they let their relationship be the focus of the pictures, not her hair or his old hat. It was obvious looking at these pictures that they love each other. That their love is most important to each of them. And I’m so glad to see that.
I will admit, I have been worried about my boys following my divorce. The divorce itself was ugly and prolonged. And the boys found out things that I would have rather they didn’t. I internalized a lot of negative aspects of my marriage, trying to shield them from certain behaviors directed toward me. And since the divorce was final, the relationship between their dad and me is acrimonious at best.
I’ve worried that they learned the wrong lessons from my marriage. But looking at the healthy relationship he and Regan have, Cyris has made some good choices. Maybe he learned from my missteps and my mistakes. Hopefully, he saw how to treat his future wife with respect and kindness, based on the difficulties I had to endure during my marriage. I worked hard while my boys were growing up to instill in them a sense of honor and a sense of chivalry. I want them all to be ‘old school’ gentlemen who take care of their partners. And to treat their future mates as partners, not as conquests.
Scrolling through the pictures again, I’m filled with the belief that Cyris got it right. He isn’t perfect. Neither is Regan. But together, they bring perfection out in one another. My hope for them is to have a long and happy marriage, blessed with children (someday) and the freedom and support of one another to chase their dreams and goals.
This mom is pretty sure they’re going be just fine.